And Again

Yesterday I got up pretty early, knowing I had only a small window to go to the grocery store. I spent an hour drinking fruity tea and planning out our week of meals and the corresponding shopping list. I had already snipped coupons from the paper the weekend before, so I had those ready to go along with a gift card. I got dressed, brushed my teeth, asked Corey for any additions, and headed to Giant Eagle.

I pulled into the parking lot, pretty darn proud of myself for conquering my pregnancy brain and remembering all the cloth bags. I sort of skipped a little as I neared the produce, reached into my pocket to pull out the list and start shopping. Then I remembered that the list, coupons, and gift card were on the dining room table.

I must tell you, this was a low moment in my life. I'm still recovering from the events earlier in the week and the realization that I am really and truly going to be helpless left me in tears. Of course, everything makes me cry these days--from commercials to produce sales to songs --but I am not generally in public when this happens.

I tried calling Corey, but he is comatose when he is asleep and just snoozed right through my four phone calls. I had to recreate the list from memory and drive home, sort of dejected. I did an ok job, but the experience left me feeling really blue the whole day.

I told Corey I really need him to be my partner through this process. When I leave the house, I need him to review where I'm going, what I'm supposed to have with me for such excursions, etc. Like how he helped me remember my wallet when I left for a radio writing class later in the afternoon, because I can no longer remember such things on my own.

This is going to be a long, arduous process.