Behold this photo:
Forgive its poor quality, having been taken with a camera phone and all. Gaze upon the wonder of that product. Dark Chocolate Dreams. That's right. I'll type it again. Dark Chocolate Dreams.
What you are looking at is a combination of dark chocolate and peanut butter. It's all stirred together for you already, all right there in the jar ready for you to scrape into your mouth in the middle of the grocery store. The jar is even plastic, so when you drop it because you've had an attack of joy, it won't break and you won't lose any of your Dark Chocolate Dreams.
I found out this product existed yesterday. I was buying peanut butter for Corey. He's a peanut butter snob, you see. Won't eat anything but the peanut butter from Peanut Butter & Co. Usually he'll only eat Crunch Time. And who could blame him? The only ingredients are peanuts and salt. It's pretty much the best thing compared to sticking peanuts and salt in your Cuisinart and making it yourself. But really, who has time? And there's always a line for the machine to do that at Whole Foods.
So there I was, crouched down in the hippie food section of Giant Eagle and reaching for his peanut butter, when I saw the Dreams. It was wedged in the back, sort of near the Bulgar wheat. Like some other woman had hidden it for later in an attempt to prevent me from buying the last jar. Screw you, lady. I got it. And I spread it on my muffin this morning. And then I ate some with my fingers on my way to putting it away in the pantry.
I see from this company's website that they sell many different heavenly products. I somehow doubt any can come close to the magical combination that is bitter dark chocolate plus smooth peanut butter. I use to think I needed Nutella to survive. In the summer, I go nuts for peanut butter, Nutella, and banana sandwiches.
Who needs hazelnut now, when I can have just pure dark chocolate with my peanut butter? I might eat the whole jar today. Corey might come home from work to find me in a food coma on the kitchen floor, resting my head on the plastic jar for a pillow and murmuring my thanks to the nut mavens and their ingenious invention.