I am having a hard time getting out of bed today. I'm actually not really out of bed at all. I limped into my office to get my laptop and then crawled back into the sheets. My whole body feels like I played an 80-minute rugby game, yet somehow all I did was a 15-minute torturous Crossfit workout called Fight Gone Bad.
Every Monday and Wednesday, I sigh deeply as it gets closer to 8pm, when I know that the tiny blond woman--whose tight body bore three babies--is going to make me question the meaning of life and leave me so tired I can't push the clutch in when I drive home (Sometimes I pull out in second or third gear just so I don't have to shift). But I usually feel really amazing by the time it's all over, masochist that I am.
Something about that workout was different. I got a pretty bad score (215...one of my teammates had 318 and most had around 250) and didn't get the euphoric rush exercising usually brings me. Why is that? Maybe I'm disappointed in my performance. I've gotten used to being the slowest and last to finish on fitness drills, but strength work has always been, well, my strength.
Why couldn't I do more box jumps or deadlift/high-pulls or squats with a medicine ball? Sometimes I feel like no matter how far I drag myself forward, an inner slow, weak, fat girl is grabbing onto my ankle and hauling me away from my progress.