Today I got home from work at 10pm. Corey was already in bed, the lights were all off, and the house was dark and lonely. Though I finished tutoring at 9:03, because of substantial bus cuts this means I can't get on a bus until 9:35. When the 71A rumbles past, it is so full that the journey home takes an additional 15 minutes as people shift around and grumble.
But that is besides the point. I am feeling really down right now, because I wake up so early and work on my thesis or other schoolwork until I have to leave for class and work, usually with two meals in my bookbag. When I get home at 10pm, without seeing my husband, I just feel lonely and sad. Is graduate school even worth it?
Obviously I won't have completed 2/3 of the work to just quit now, but I say with all certainty that this will be the hardest 8 months of my life. April 28th, how I long for you to come and go so I can rejoin the world of the living. And maybe even make it to rugby practice. Or go out to dinner with someone. Or even eat dinner sitting down...
After years of nomadic temporary employment, advanced degrees, and chocolate ice cream, a rugger with a love of knitting and a cyclist with no domestic skills signed a Ketubah and bought a house in Pittsburgh.
6 comments:
Hey, if anyone can get through this, maybe not unscathed, but intact, it is you. Hang in there. Take a weekend day (afternoon) and do something with Coreman.
When you are done it will be so worth it... at least that's what I keep telling myself!
what can mommy do for you?
what can aunty do for you?
that's so weird. i was thinking the same thing. except that IS my life. i AM a real person. i wrote a blog about it. oddly it was before i read this post. now i will incorporate your woes and we will woe together.
also i hope you don't mind that i used your post as reference in my blog. let me know if you'd like me to take it down.
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