Sunday, September 16, 2007

Sunday Morning Confessions

I do bad things sometimes. Today, I am having remorse. Perhaps this is because of the upcoming Yom Kipur and I am feeling I should atone since I married a Jewish boy?

Once, a co-worker from the pill factory sent me a filthy email with an unwelcome filthy video attachment. I couldn't figure out how to find or delete it from the computer. (This was long ago, when my family first got a computer and before I learned about Adobe products) A few years later, my mom found the video on the hard drive and blamed my dad for downloading it and I let him take the rap. In my mind, I viewed this as payback for him blaming me for breaking the VCR in 1986, when I most certainly did not break the VCR. My mom screamed and yelled at him for downloading gross porn. I sat on the sofa and snickered.

I don't really go outside my house without checking first to make sure the neighbor isn't out there. She is extremely old, foreign, and completely deaf. Yet she refuses to wear a hearing aid and can't understand a word you say. She thinks I'm a housewife because I work second shift and she thought my teammate was my mom AND we tried to invite her to our housewarming party for a week, but she had no idea what we were saying. During the party, numerous guests encouraged her to come sit down and she just stared. Whenever shes spies me dumping stuff on the compost pile, she yabbers at me for 20 minutes and I am unable to respond or interject because she is deaf (or doesn't care?). And I just feel enormously bothered by her. Last week, she put her house up for sale and I felt a wave of relief because I can go get the paper or check the mail or even walk out back and look at my rosemary any time I want now.

Last night, I took Corey's last piece of Bazooka. On purpose.

4 comments:

PeaceLoveMath said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
PeaceLoveMath said...

Just wanted to let you know that while you were posting your confessions, I didn't know it because I had the page opened to your bean salad recipe before it was updated. I just finished cleaning up after myself, and there are 3 lunch-sized containers each for Janey and me to take to work this week. It is quite yummy! We are both going to increase our carbon footprints. It was Uncle Harry who left that comment, btw.

I'm just glad you didn't marry a Muslim boy, because then you wouldn't be able to eat during daylight hours for the next thirty days. Two of my co-workers in VA are following Ramadan right now, and they get into work at like 7:00am because they've been up since before dawn to eat breakfast. I lent one of them my Women's One-A-Day vitamins to take with her breakfast.

Anonymous said...

Too much like confession to me. I have plenty of regrets, but no sharing from this corner.

JP said...

did you take the bazooka because you wanted gum or simply to savor this mischief of taking the last piece? I didn't realize anyone would actually choose to chaw that stuff for any non-masochistic reason. Whee, jaw pain!