Tuesday, January 02, 2007

The New Jewish Wedding

I spent New Year's Eve reading The New Jewish Wedding by Anita Diamant. Because I'm a nerd. (We did go to a party eventually...) But I learned several really interesting things that I liked a lot. For starters, I learned that it is traditional for both of the groom's parents to walk him to the chuppah and then for both of the bride's parents to walk her to the chuppah. This signifies that a wedding is a blending of families, not just individuals. Isn't that a nice idea? I love it.

Corey thinks it's a nice idea but doesn't want to walk down the aisle because he doesn't want people to look at him. As if people aren't going to look at him all damn day. I feel like sitting in his office and staring at him just to get him used to it. Perhaps he can preview the wedding wine on the big day and will feel better about blending our families in front of a crowd.

I also learned that the Jews were some of the first people to give women some rights. The Ketubah (marriage contract) was a document that gave a woman the security and proof of her rights to her husband's protection and money. It made divorce difficult for fickle men who changed their minds. Granted, it also made the woman out to be like chattel traded for a gold band. Which is why I'm very glad to know this in advance and I can make sure ours contains nice language about love and equality.

It's getting really close and making me have disturbing dreams. Last night I had another wedding band dream, only in this one Corey's ring was entirely too big and he couldn't wear it on our honeymoon. 144 days of bad dreams....I'll just have to plan better and stop being nervous.

2 comments:

Soupie said...

We just stare at him all day at work...usually with contempt....

maybe that is where the problem begins....

PeaceLoveMath said...

i don't think planning better will lessen your bad dreams, it will just make you worry more that you could be planning even better still, and thus cause more bad dreams! my advice is to have a little meditation session on your wedding day until you have taken to heart the fact that everything is going to go smoothly as long as you're not stressed about it: you and corey will walk down the isle and get married, and then you will have a beautiful, great party with all of your friends to celebrate the big day. nothing else matters!