Monday, June 05, 2006

Top 5 Insane Nutters I've Encountered Since Wednesday

5. The drunk goth guy on the bus this morning who applied eyeliner as we went over potholes and asked the suited businessman to his right whether he, too, had enjoyed 25 cent shots at the gay bar the night before.

4. Cat, from my bus stop, who never fails to ask for change or demand why I have no cigarettes lit for him to use to light his own cigarettes.

3. The short lady from the bus stop in Squirrel Hill who said "Are you Diane? You look just like her... God, I really thought it was you... Man, you look like Diane. ..You have that aura like you've lived in Squirrel Hill your whole life." Suddenly, a small Asian woman came to the bus stop who mysteriously also looked exactly like Diane. Hmmm...

2. The elderly black woman who saw my braided pigtails and told me I would look really cute with a weave and lots of braids with beads on the end, even if I am a white girl.

1. My boss, who has left numerous wild and raving emails, voicemails, and scrawled notes on my desk asking me repeatedly to help her open files, attach documents to emails, and other seemingly self-explanatory tasks. One question at a time, I am very calm when teaching this 76 year old basic computer skills. Piled up after a weekend in Philadelphia, these are the rantings of a nutter. I honestly don't think I can show her how to open a Word file another time today without stabbing myself in the ear.

My favorite nutty email from her: an otherwise completely blank email forwarded to me saying "What is the meaning of this email???" on which the entire editorial board was copied.

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