Thursday, June 29, 2006

Panic Attack

I was stressed out yesterday because the internet isn't working in my apartment. So I decided to leave nice and early and get to the boat house with plenty of time to row on the ergs and practice my stroke. I was driving along, belting out some Cher on the highway, when suddenly the cars stopped. And stayed stopped. For an hour. Because the bridge was out for construction and things were crawling along in one lane.

The only way to the island is via this little bridge off route 28 and I started to panic. I was watching myself start to cry as the time for the boat launch came and went. I was completely irrational, shaking, crying, banging on the steering wheel. I had set my little heart on getting in that boat and when it seemed the opportunity was lost, I freaked out. I was like a five year old child who isn't allowed to go to the movies. I wanted to be on the river, and couldn't. I didn't know what to do so I called Corey.

He told me I was being a big baby and went online and found me a new route to the island bridge. He's always so rational. Of course when I tried to do a 3-pt turn on the highway amid the crawling traffic, a police officer came to yell at me and call me an idiot, which didn't make me feel any better.

I still can't believe how drastically I reacted to missing my boat. I've missed airplanes before and been ok. I've missed rugby practice because of horrible practice and just been sad. But I've never had an actual panic attack like that before. Corey says that life is full of disappointments and I need to just take it in stride. This is coming from a man who can assemble a tricycle without saying a single swear word or reading the directions.

Anyway, when I finally reached the boat house, dejected and expecting to help the crew with the grill, a ray of light shone down from the heavens and illuminated the awkward heads of my crew, the last into the water and about to launch. I made it! All my upset washed away in a feeling of relief. I forgot my panic and prepared to focus and row it all out.

We were two strokes off the dock and feeling fine when suddenly lightning struck. At that point, I didn't have the energy left to care anymore. I just went home and helped my neighbor move furniture. Next week, I'm going to swim to practice.

1 comment:

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