Boar's Head

Giant Eagle doesn't carry Boar's Head brand lunch meat. They have this crappy alternative that almost tastes pretend. So, whenever I go into the Strip, I try to get Boar's Head honey maple turkey if I have time. I know my order by heart, and I am pretty sure I enunciate because I'm often teased for my careful pronunciation of all syllables of all words.

Yesterday, after the fish folks gave me my surprise (a styrofoam tub of something called Strawberry Delight in the purse this time, plus brownie bites while we worked), I walked up the block to Penn Mac for sandwich supplies.

I was excited because there was no line, where on a Saturday I've stood for an hour waiting my turn. I got up to the counter, stood on tip-toe so I could make eye contact, and ordered my 1 pound Boar's Head honey maple turkey, sliced thin. The dude handed me a pound of pepper turkey. I sniffed it, read the label to be sure it was wrong. I bit my lip. It was the wrong meat. I hate that. I don't want to make this man's life hard, but I don't like pepper turkey and I was severely jonesing for that honey maple. I told him about the mistake.

"Oh no! Hey, don't worry about it. I can sell that. Tell me again what you wanted?" I told him again. He sliced it again. Thin. He asked what else I wanted and I said a quarter pound of white American cheese. When he came back with my sliced yellow American, I didn't have the heart to ask him for another do-over. I wonder what Corey will say when he sees the strange cheese in the drawer. I hope he doesn't think I've lost my mind.