A Hot Sunday Date

3pm: I say, mostly to myself, "I'm putting a chicken in the oven to roast for dinner." Corey sits on the sofa and starts doing homework, showing no evidence that he has heard me.

4:30pm: I take the chicken out of the oven and begin making gravy and noodles to eat with it. Corey walks into the kitchen, sticks a finger into the meat to taste and says, "I thought we were riding bikes. Why did you make dinner so early?" He is, of course, correct. I had agreed to ride bikes with him after whining all week that we never do anything together. But then I totally forgot. It is snowing outside and barely above freezing. I say this. He says, "We can ride downstairs and watch Dexter." He looks so cute that I want to explode. I tell him I'll make the gravy, stick everything in the oven to keep warm, and he can set up the materials.

5:00pm: Corey has discovered a flat on my bike, decided the chain on his Surly needs to be repaired, and the basement floor is strewn with laundry and water bottles. There has been no progress on our ride together. I have completed the gravy and am lying on the kitchen floor in my chamois, waiting for hell to freeze over and urging myself not to pick at the chicken with my fingers.

5:05pm: Corey asks for help. We begin to set up to watch Dexter. Since we do not have cable we watch tv on the internet, usually sitting on rolley chairs in Corey's basement office with food propped on our laps. Today we decide to set up his monitor on a tv table in the middle of the room so we can see from the bikes. This involves careful rigging of extension cords, maneuvering of woofers and speakers, angling of monitors on top of bike equipment setup to enable indoor riding. For example, I have to wedge the phone book under my front wheel and Corey has to line up his gear so his head finds the gaps in the drop ceiling. Otherwise his hair scrapes because he's so tall.

5:15pm: We have the gear set up. Dexter is streaming on the internet. The fan is blowing, the speakers are loud enough over Corey's rollers and my trainer. We are in love and riding bikes in the basement. Things are great. We look at each other with mushy faces and almost hold hands.

5:16pm: Corey has to readjust his junk because it gets smooshed on the seat. My butt bones hurt and I want to stop riding. My hands hurt. He wipes his sweaty forehead on my arm for fun and instead of retaliating, I just get angry and complain. I want to stop riding. It all seems like a terrible idea, and I get really angry that I ate all the chocolate in the house while I roasted the chicken. We forget that someone needs to jiggle the mouse or the computer screen goes black in the middle of the episode. Corey leaps off the rollers to turn off the screen saver.

5:45: I tough out the trainer for a half hour in my lowest gear and go finish making dinner. Corey rides rollers a bit longer and relocates the entire home entertainment center into his cubicle so we can eat on the rolley chairs and watch another episode. And another one. And the one after that.