Oh, Kenneth

New Year's Eve I went to bed at 930, right after I watched a repeat of 30 Rock. We're still going to be pretty early around here because Miles is still giving us lots of sleep trouble. That particular night he was up three times...

But anyway, right before bed, at some point the character Kenneth made reference, sarcastically, to something being as useful as "a college degree for moms." That one stung, Kenneth! Now, I know Tina Fey and her writers were being clever, but given the recent job shift around my house, that line just really sunk into my bones and has been nagging me since. Way to home in on the thing that makes me question my self-worth and make a joke of it, Kenneth the Paige!

Of course I know that education for education's sake is valuable for everyone. My many years of higher education have made me an enlightened being... But in a way, Kenneth is right. College was pretty un-useful for the work I am doing right now. I mean, never once in college did any professor teach me what to do when your child has pooped through all the diapers you brought along for a brief outing to watch a football game.

There is shit I am going through right now that nobody ever teaches you in college. What good is microeconomics knowledge when my main concern this week is bulb-suctioning mucous out from my wee one's little nostrils? Where were the courses that prepared me for the miracle that is Miles' ear. I mean, my body made an ear! That I can now stare at for many hours in a row.

I feel like SAHM-ing, in all its agony and ecstasy (two weeks into it anyway), is completely unrelated to anything I learned in college. So you make your little jokes, Kenneth. And one day, when I found an accredited college that teaches people how to parent (required course materials to include dark chocolate and Baby Bjorn), I will email you an enrollment packet!