Toes

I have ugly feet. I have talked about this before at length. They are just ugly to start with--long, fingery toes that can tie shoelaces and misshapen big toes that look like thumbs pushed through one of those penny smooshers. Then, I play rugby wearing cleats with improper cushioning and I develop rhino-like hide on the bottoms and sides of the feet. To top this off, I make hangnails for myself and those are usually ripped off until I have barely any toenails left. Basically, I have hobbit feet without the hair. Heinous.

We are having some work done on our house. All the little things we wanted to do before we moved in, we hired Harry to do since he did such a great job helping us fix our roof and floors. He is mid-project transitioning between all the tile and hardwood floors and has just installed the transition wood. He warned me I'd need to "step lively" for awhile until my body gets used to lifting my foot a little higher as I leave rooms. I just figured my rhino hobbit feet could take it and ignored him.

Today, I ripped most of the skin off my toes stubbing them on those damn transitions. I scream horrible swear words every time I leave the bathroom and mutilate my feet even more. It's gotten to the point where I'm scared to walk through the house, not certain where there are new floor obstacles. I almost think I liked the house better when it was all white trash with gappy tiles.

Of course I could solve all of this by wearing shoes, but who can wear shoes in July? I fear I'll have to, because my horrible feet will be in such bad shape I'll be ashamed to display them in my flip-flops.