Oh, Stop!

I went to a new dentist today. My old one stopped carrying my insurance. My first stop was a cleaning from Hygienist Judy. Judy couldn't believe my teeth. "Look at those teeth! Look how well you care for them!" She called her hygienist friend in from the hall to look. They ogled. I smiled, with the cotton wad in my mouth.

"You just don't know the mouths we see in here. You have no idea! This will be the best mouth I see all day." She went on and on, even my x-rays were wonderful. "Just the best teeth!"

Then the dentist came in to have a look. "Holy wow! Can I take a picture of those gums to show my other patients? Seriously, can I?" I smiled even bigger. He took a picture. "Didn't your old dentist tell you all about your beautiful mouth?"

"I just thought they were being nice..."

"No. These are the best teeth. Just really wonderful dental care. What's your secret?"

I told him about fifth grade, how a dentist came to my class room and gave us little red tablets that stained the plaque on our teeth. When mine, even after vigorous brushing, were bright red I was horrified. I have scrubbed my brains out ever since.

The dentist says they aren't allowed to do such things in public school anymore. This is terrible news, because it scared me into brag-worthy gums. I will certainly try to acquire those tablets for my offspring, because everyone deserves to feel as good inside as I did upon leaving the dentist.

What a self-esteem booster!