Wednesday, June 06, 2007

How to Become a New Me

Being a newlywed is grotesquely joyous. I walk around the streets beaming and then see my reflection in the windowpanes and think "I would gossip about me if I saw me from the 71A." I just can't help it. I take my chipper cheer with me, even in long lines at government agencies.

My journey to becoming an all the way newlywed, to amending my name, began at the very building that sold us our marriage license. As luck would have it, I had the same government worker who worked our case to start with. She seemed not to remember me. She robotically asked me which sort of marriage license record I would need. I had no idea. I smiled and asked her which she advised. She snarled and said "Well, don't you have a passport???" Apparently possessing a passport makes it cost more money and take longer to get the copy of the license. I dared not ask her to point me toward the Social Security office and instead asked the nice man who patted me down and checked my backpack for weapons.

All in all, I've spent ten hours over the past two days changing my name. I have a printed letter of proof that I have a new Social Security card. I have a new driver's license. I have ten photocopies of my triple seal marriage license and lists of credit cards and student loans and iTunes accounts. Each place I go, the lines are longer and the people are grumpier.

The DMV man did not laugh when I pointed out that he was an upside-down lefty. The parking attendant at AAA didn't agree that the weather was fantastically dry and temperate. For some reason, the 71A driver didn't care that I had a brand new Panther card with a brand new rider name on it.

Ordinarily, long lines and customer service agents make me crazy. They make me want to murder. They remind me of the time I had to work the return counter at K-mart on the day after Christmas. But now? When all I can think about is gushy happy things? I could care less.

I should have saved up all my annoying bureaucratic tasks until right now, when my high spirits can't be broken, even by a 95 minute wait to print a form at the registrar's office.

7 comments:

PeaceLoveMath said...

oh man...i have a passport...that all does not sound fun...do you need a copy of your Social Security card? because I lost mine years and years ago, and when I spent hours at the social security office about 18 months ago to get a new one, it never came in the mail like it was supposed to. maybe I should work on that again before I need a marriage license...share your newfound expertise with me!!

ninny said...

hee hee - is mer starting to panic as a bride to be???

Katy said...

you don't actually need the physical SS card, provided you can prove your identity. having a passport is a good thing if (like me as well) you have lost your floppy cardboard SS card.

to get the marriage license in PA, you can use your passport and they only take CASH. come prepared knowing your parents' occupations and towns of birth and every fact about your parents. they care about that stuff.

Valtastic said...

Apparently it's even harder for a man to change his last name so it's a good thing Corey didn't want to become Corey Rank...

Laura V said...

Despite the chipperness, your account makes me doubly, nay, triply glad I decided to keep my name.

Oddly enough, only my younger brother is still upset by this. Siblings are weird.

Emily said...

Val beat me to it, but I had the same point...

Also, until last year, it was illegal to keep your maiden name or change back to it if you got divorced in VA and a couple of other states if you had kids...

P said...

That's ridiculous! VA is so fucked up!