Toothpaste

Big Perm slept at my house once and brought a toothbrush, stuffed into her jeans pocket with no bag or other barrier. She asked to use toothpaste in the morning and left for work at the hospital before I got up. When I awoke, I found a note from her that read something to the tune of: "Katy, that toothpaste you have tastes like fu**ing cement. Let me buy you some real toothpaste."

Big Perm reacted this way because I use Tom's of Maine toothpaste, which has no added saccharine. The first time I used it, I felt that way, too. But then I gave it one more day, and one more, and one more, and ever since then I can't bear to put another brand of toothpaste into my mouth. It all tastes similar to maple syrup or soda or something else sickeningly sweet with a hint of mint. Like frosting, maybe. Minty frosting.

I found out there was sugar in my tooth paste (ok, not technically sugar, but darn close) in 2005 when Corey and I were preparing for our cross country trip. We were getting ready for grizzly bear territory and learned even toothpaste counted as bear lure because of the sweetness. Sweetness? In toothpaste? Meant to fight my cavities?

Yes. Toothpaste has added sweetener. I felt so robbed, so upset, so horrified that Crest would do this to me. After decades of being a loyal consumer, using nothing but Crest, I stopped cold turkey and started buying the ADA approved spearmint Tom's of Maine. My mouth tastes delicious and fresh and my teeth have never been better. I love it.

But others think it tastes like cement.