Friday, August 29, 2008

Mired in Controversy

Oh man, I am zapping away today. The top of my zap list? Olive B, cashier at Center for Rehabilitation Services. Let me explain.

I have magically good insurance. Truly astounding medical care, really. The best. I pay basically nothing (though the University paid a killing while I was a grad student assistant) and have very few co-pays for services, provided I use UPMC facilities. When I hurt my back in early May, I went to like 6 PT sessions without paying one cent. I paid NOTHING the whole time I had my fungus...I never pay for x-rays...Michael Moore should not talk to me because, while I empathize with the plight of others, I have a kick-ass deal with my health insurance. Total winner.

Soooo, today I went to the PT to have him magically heal my knee. (This he failed to do) On the way in, surly Olive B told me I owed her $25. "Really?" I said. "That's so strange. I didn't pay a thing last time. I wonder if you might double check that for me, please."

She grunted, checked for me, and demanded that I give her the money. I figured it was fine and I'd deal with it later, but made certain to keep my receipt. As soon as I got home, I phoned the insurance people. They were astounded. "She charged you money? TWENTY-FIVE DOLLARS????" Stephanie, my new friend, was beside herself. She told me to sit tight and that she would call Olive and straighten the whole thing out.

Twenty minutes later, the phone rang. Stephanie called back to report that Olive B was very, extremely unkind to her and refused to reimburse my money. Stephanie told her some official policy things, threatened with paperwork and red tape, but still Olive B persisted. They have my money. Olive even told Stephanie she plans to charge me another $25 when I go back on Tuesday.

I feel like several things are happening here. First, Olive must be a total miserable barnacle if even a customer service representative feels she is unkind. Second, she is either pocketing my money or deliberately putting me through the run-around because she has a black heart and wants my mind to suffer as much as my knee joint.

Thus, I zap you, Olive B. I zap you with all the power of my Thunder Vision. And I'm not taking my wallet with me on Tuesday.

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