Peter Piper

He picked my pepper. I can't even talk about it. Many people don't realize that all colored peppers begin as green peppers. Red bell peppers start out (in the case of my near beauty) as green bell peppers in early June. They grow happily and slowly on the plant and then mature into beautiful, sweet red goodness. This happens very slowly. Over the course of months. During which time they are tenderly nursed by their gardners and watched with anticipation for the first hint of rosy ripeness. LOTS of anticipation.

When I left my garden in Corey's care while I went away this weekend, I assumed he would do his usual routine: water stuff and not touch anything except the zucchini. Instead, I came home to peek at my garden and my pepper was missing. It was gone. The green pepper plant had all the bell peppers growing away happily. The red pepper plant had a few babies, one day to become red. But my beauty, my tenderly watched pepper that I've been obsessing over since June was gone.

I went inside. "Where's my pepper?"

He knew exactly what I was talking about because we discuss every aspect of the garden at length every day. It's like I'm autistic and can only focus on one thing: my damn garden. He knew which plant he was allowed to pick from because I mapped it all out for him before I left. Anyway, when I referred to my pepper, he knew I meant my golden goose. Corey got really excited, like he had done something really helpful, and said, "Oh! I picked it!" He opened the fridge and held it out.

"I can't talk to you right now."

He started talking to me anyway, something about how he just nudged it when he was watering and the stem kind of cracked anyway and plus it was turning black in some places and he thought that was bad and was just trying to help.

I know he was just trying to help. I realize this. I know there are also gross human rights violations all over the world and starving people and other issues in my own house far more important than my damn vegetable. But I am just so devastated that he picked my pepper. I don't know how to stop punishing him for it.