The Better to Eat you With, My Dear

Corey is having some teeth trouble. Many years ago, he had a bike accident and lost his front tooth. He had a crown put in that recently starting chipping off and coming apart. Last week, our new favorite dentist put in a temporary crown while we wait for the new snazzy tooth to come from the tooth fairy and allow him to eat apples again.

In the mean time, the temporary one (which looks rather like a Chiclet) came loose. All weekend long, he made weird sucking sounds as he jiggled it with his tongue and told me he couldn't bite into anything firm, or it might come out. Last night, we sat down to eat some zucchinis I harvested from my thankfully-copulating garden, and he said, "I have to take it out. It's too wiggly." I stared with my mouth half full as he removed his front tooth and tried to put it on a napkin on the table. Where I could SEE it.

I freaked out and made him move it to another room, which he did. I then finished my food first and started cleaning up. I saw what I assumed to be a big piece of brown rice sitting on the counter and swept it into the trash can with the rest of the food garbage. Happily washing the dishes, I shuddered when Corey said, "Katy, did you see my tooth anywhere? I can't find my tooth." I had thrown it away! In the TRASH!

He dug it out, cleaned if off, and shoved it back into his mouth and promised to call the dentist.

Before he got a chance to do so, he was brushing his teeth this morning and said, calmly as only Corey could do, "Well, that's great."

"Did your tooth fall out again?"

"Yes."

"Into the sink?"

"Yes."

"Did it go down the drain?????????"

I heard clinking sounds as he said, "Mmm hmmm."

I immediately called the dentist, who said he could come with or without the tooth in 20 minutes. Corey did not find the tooth, I did not calm down, and he rode calmly into the sunrise to get his mouth fixed.