Thursday, July 09, 2009

Wait a Minute, Mr. Postman

Did you ever order something really, really cool from Amazon or even Mac? Like a computer or iPod or something possibly radder even than that? The days you spend waiting for it to arrive are agony. Will it get here on time if it's a birthday gift? Will you ever survive the suspense as you await the rumble of that diesel engine, the UPS truck barreling up your narrow street? If you work from home like me, maybe you wait next to the door for Peggy to mount your porch steps, leaning a little sideways from the heaviness of what can only be your package?

The last time this happened to Corey was a few weeks ago, when he called every 6 minutes to see if his Netbook had arrived. For me, it was senior year of college when Harry Potter 5 came in the mail and I sat on my stoop just waiting and waiting for the mailman.

The delivery dates these companies promise are etched in stone. You pay for certain delivery days, for the sure thing of their arrival. When the day comes, you know your package will show up like you know your water bill will come or your newspaper.

Yeah, it's not like that with babies. Only it feels like it SHOULD be that way. Like I was promised a human child on a specific date and all I have is the email that it's at the distribution center in Stuebenville.

You know what I want more than a Netbook or Harry Potter 5? A damn baby. My baby. I want the crying and the pooping and the little ears and the nose that may or may not be shaped like mine. I paid my shipping and handling in many ways. I gestated for 280 days. Now give me my baby, please. Or I'll give you a no-stars review on your website. Plus I might call customer service and complain.


PeaceLoveMath said...

This is the sweetest post ever. Come out, Baby Love, come out!

I'm mainly upset that he didn't come out on Wednesday like I told him to.

Just kidding... :)

Laura V said...

Did I remember to warn you that if you go past your due date you might spend the whole day crying?

Because no one warned ME about that and then the day after my due date I was crying at the drop of a hat because I WAS PROMISED A BABY WHERE WAS MY BABY INSTEAD I AM HOT AND MISERABLE AND SOMEONE IS KICKING ME IN THE RIBS WHERE IS MY BABY *SOBBITY*.

like that. All day. My mom eventually called me to see if I was OK because she knew from experience that going past the due date might make one melt down, and I was like "AND YOU COULDN'T'VE WARNED ME BEFOREHAND????"

pghrugbyangel said...

Katy that is an awesome post!! Even I'm getting antsy about Baby Love getting a move on!!

Laura - that's kind of funny. And kind of not. :-( how are things going?! Hope all is well with the three of you.

Katy said...

i might have spent the entire ride home from the midwives' office in got hard in the parking garage when there was a stroller parade of new moms getting discharged. effers!

Jane said...

Baby Love isn't getting paid to deliver on time. Besides, I want his Ninny to be in Lebanon on Saturday when I head there for a visit. It's only because you are so strong that he has not yet made his appearance.

ninny said...

you know the troubly you've had with your addresses....maybe the deliveryman doesn't know where to deliver!

kk said...

The storkman will be there soon:+) And then you will be saying "when can I get a full 8 hours of sleep." Eight what I'm I saying try 4 hours if your lucky.

Bethany said...

heh heh heh ....."handling".