Torn

We drove around like crazy people this holiday because Corey doesn't get much time off from work. The hardest thing about being in a relationship for me has been the span of space between our families. We love living in Pittsburgh, but miss our families like crazy. We have been up to this point trying to see both families for both holidays (just because Corey is Jewish doesn't mean his family doesn't get together at Christmas!). This means driving six hours to New Jersey and having a whirlwind visit and then, two days later, driving almost three hours to Lebanon, PA for another whirlwind visit and then sitting in awful shopping traffic four hours back to our home.

And the worst part is that I have two more weeks until I go back to work while my little penguin is slaving in the bike shop. I made myself big long to-do lists to occupy my time, but I can't motivate myself to do things like scrub the toilets or put away piles of clothing. Somehow sitting on the sofa knitting or even just staring out the window is more exciting than washing the car in the freezing cold.

It all leaves me feeling very torn. On one hand, I could be holed up in Lebanon enjoying my family for a few days and taking advantage of their cable TV. On the other, I have a new husband whom I love to pieces and can't bear to think of him here all alone enjoying our Christmas tree without me. So I chose to come back and I also chose a new path for us for holidays going forward.

We will no longer drive around like crazy people. We will spend the whole of our Thanksgiving vacations with one family and the whole of our Christmas time off with the other. It will make my heart sad not to see my family a little less frequently, but at least I'll know I'll get longer and more satisfying visits with them.

It was a very big, hard move for me the year Corey and I started splitting up the holidays. Letting go of Christmas morning with my mom was probably the hardest thing I ever did and I still wonder what will happen next year when I'm waking up in New Jersey. Perhaps Corey's mom will wake everyone up at 7am yelling "Ho! Ho! Hoooooooooooo!" and then clap her hands while we open our presents. That might make the transition a little easier...