We got a sprinkling of snow the other day, so because we are home owners Corey went out and bought some salt at Home Depot. These are things you have to do when you own a home. Salt the walks.
I got very concerned about nature and the chemicals in the salt, so even though it was very late at night and they were about to close, I made Corey read the bags and find the best thing he could. This bag, apparently, is calcium chloride and is supposed to be ok to go into the water system. I don't know. I still feel anxious about it.
But then I woke up this morning to see the world transformed! Snow! My first snowstorm as a married person.
I went out to get the paper and realized Corey and I had not yet assembled one of our wedding gifts: the Wovel. A combination shovel and wheelbarrow that promised to make all our shoveling needs easier. I figured, hey, we are responsible for the walks and stairs. We don't want to get a fine or get sued or have one of our elderly neighbors break a hip when she comes over to yell at me for not moving the car during street cleaning.
So we assembled the beast. And my, was it large. Since Corey typically is the one wearing pants, I decided he would be the one to use the Wovel most often. There are different settings for how tall you are, you see. Look at the size of this thing! It didn't fit up the steps and as I finagled it out the door, we accidentally dug up our neighbors' oregano plant with the plastic blade.
I set out to shovel the walks while Corey turned the car on and started cleaning that. With every load I wheeled, chunks of oregano came flying out of the Wovel. I just know they are going to notice that. Corey says that's what they get for letting the oregano plant grow so it spills into our driveway. Our yard now looks a bit like a mint snowcone, with round little heaps of shoveled snow topped with an herbal garnish.
THEN I realized I had made a terrible mistake. The radio announcer told me with my alarm that YESTERDAY was the first day of Hanukkah. Facebook told me it wasn't until Thursday, and because I'm a dumb shiksa, I listened. I hadn't gotten out the menorah or bought candles yet, so before the sun came up, Corey and I lit the Facebook menorah in bed with my MacBook and I feel like that counts since he sang the prayer and everything.
After I took care of business with the walks, I rustled up the menorah and some birthday candles. Corey told me to melt the bottoms so they would stand in the little holders and I got us all prepped for this evening. Which I found out is also a faux pas. You apparently aren't supposed to even set up the number two candles until the right time. I fear I will never learn.