1. Brought my child's new "friend" to the wedding?
2. Brought my father-in-law to the wedding?
3. Waited until three weeks past the RSVP date to send in my little card?
4. Brought my children to your adults-only soirée?
YES!!!! Yes, I would mind if you completely disregarded the fact that Corey and I agonized over who to invite, eliminated people we play rugby or ride bikes with on a daily basis to accommodate the 100+ relatives in our enormous families. Nevermind that we had to exclude some people's partners in order to be able to include more people we are close with. Sure, why not bring a bunch of people I never met to my wedding. We'll just carve out an extra table for you and your special add ons. Then, later, when I show photos to my teammates and they say, "Oh! Who is that?" I can tell them, "That's blanky blank's new friend! Isn't that nice that he came to the wedding? Now what was his name..."
Also, let's deliberately make the bride's life as difficult as possible and give her the least amount of time to create a seating chart which includes these kling-ons whom she has not met.
Why on earth would I possibly want to celebrate my marriage to Corey with people I've not met? Why do people think it's ok to pencil in additional names on their response cards? (Some people did indeed telephone to say they were actually quite seriously involved in a relationship. Phoning is always so much better than just taking it upon yourself to write in a name!)
My response to all these stress-makers is this: Would you mind if I came over to your house uninvited at the last minute after you already told a close friend she could not come and already told your cousin her children were not invited? Of course you would mind.
Would you mind terribly if I wrote a book about wedding manners that included the phrase: respond before the RSVP date using only the names of the persons on the invitation or the bride will bite her thumb at you FOR ALL ETERNITY.
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6 comments:
Oh, I really sympathize with you on this. I had a distant cousin last year who was divorced, who not only wanted to bring his ex-wife (known for public scenes), but also her son AND his girlfriend. Lovely.
You know what, though? It will all work out, really. And to be honest, the things that you worry will go wrong don't--and the things that you never expected would happen (like my aunt showing up over an hour before the wedding and bugging the bartender for drinks even though the bar wasn't set up, or my cousin throwing a fit b/c he didn't want the valet to touch his precious car, or my mother in law, whose CELL PHONE RANG in the middle of my ceremony--and she took the call!).
Okay, so all of this probably isn't making you feel any better. Just stay as firm on your original plans as possible and try to roll with the rest. It's going to be amazing, I promise.
Oh I love you Katy Rank! Some people are thoughtless. You know when they got married they delt with the same thing most likely and they prob said they weren't going to do it to anyone... oh well. They better shell out cash for the unwanted poeple. :P
~Val
I think you should ask for a do-over and start at the begininng again. Have the wedding that you want, Invite who you want and drink all the beer you want. Send out invitations that say "No add-ons." Invite all your rugbyand bike friends. And if they don't respond by the date call them and say sorry for your luck you missed the cut off date, so we invite some else in your place. And if someone's cell phone rings during your wedding I will take care of them and their cell phone for you, and it won't be pretty.
Katy since it on a farm, can we bring pets? we just got a new puppy and I hate to leave him alone all day, but I totally understand if not - but he wont eat any food so it wouldn't REALLY be additional.
uhhhhhh.
my bad.
I feel your pain...the day before the wedding, our friend Jim called to ask if he could bring his girlfriend. This was after we had invited him as a +1 and he told us he didn't want to bring her. JP said no, we don't have anywhere for her to sit, sorry!
So you know what he did? He brought her.
Our other friend asked if he was a +1. I asked him if he had become involved in a relationship since we last heard. He said no, and was miffed when I told him I didn't want to pay for him to bring random date to my wedding.
Do people know how much per head weddings cost? Would these people dream of asking you for $50 (or much more!) just because? Gimme a break!
Put your foot down, but know that people may show up anyway. Smile politely and seethe internally. =)
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