It is flipping hot today. Over 85 degrees. In October! So I was riding my bike to work and sweating profusely. All of a sudden, my back started to feel really wet. I thought perhaps I had just finished a tough interval. It was, after all, very hot.
As it turns out, the soup (chicken corn chowder) in my backpack had come open and spilled all over everything. My copy of The Omnivore's Dilemma. My planner. My shirt. The other food in my lunch parcel. When I got to work, I had three students waiting at the computers already, so I had barely any time to blot. I just sort of stood between their large legs, like a Liliputian, scraping creamy gook from my shirt and possessions.
My boss came in and saw my pathetic state. She sent me off to clean up and mopped out my bookbag for me. I was able to save the apple and plum and trail mix and convinced some lady in the bathroom to help me scrub the back of my shirt. I am that girl who somehow gets soup on her back. Who spills soup on her back?
As I walked back into work, a man near me said, "Tired, huh?"
I thought, how can he know that??? but said nothing. He said, "Cause you made that little sigh. You know."
"Oh!" I said. "That."
As it turns out, he had caught me not amidst a sigh but trying to conceal a very large burp. You see, I got excited after I rinsed off the trail mix and ate it along my walk. It had raspberries AND chocolate in there!
So I'm the tutor with the 6'7", 310 pound students who has soup on her back and burps up almonds in the hallways. What a fine example I set for them.
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9 comments:
My idol
why soup on a hot day? don't suppress those burps!
Get the gladware twist to seal.. or stock in lock.. it's the only stuff that works with liquids..
Your mom burped in my car the other night. I can still smell her stinkin' garlic breath. Suppress those burps!
no, no, let them out. You're a writer, you're supposed to be memorable for weird reasons. There was a specific word I was trying to think of to communicate that, but it has slipped my mind.
By the way, you used "it's" in the previous post when you should have used "its." That is why the cat is moaning in your yard, I know it. Burping is good, but erroneous apostrophes are not.
you're supposed to be memorable for weird reasons.
I use that same excuse for being an engineer.
Okay, how ironic is it that you're reading The Omnivore's Dilemma and you spilled CORN SOUP on your back--and all over the book? That's classic!
I'm impressed. I might have cried.
it IS ironic about the corn!!! i hadn't even thought of that. although i now look at every piece of food and think about all the corn inside it.
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