Am I a hateful being? Am I so brimming with vile negativity that I can't function as a joyous person? As I write this, Dr. N is in the background asking me how to click save and whether she needs to double click the icon. I am actually even sick of complaining about her inability to use a computer! I have never been sick of complaining about anything. Which makes me wonder if I am just full of hate.
It's really fabulous outside today. No humidity. It's one of the coveted 60 days of cloudless skies in Pittsburgh. I have organic zucchini to munch on. Corey cleaned the kitchen last night. How could a girl be unhappy?
And yet I sit here brimming with rage that the University pays me to work the computer for this lady. A high school kid would do this for minimum wage. Corey has said that technology is meant to make people more efficient and that if she can't get past double clicking, she should perhaps not try to use the technology. He's right. She is certainly not efficient using the technology. But why does it bother me so much?
I've gotten to a point where I don't even stop what I'm doing when she requests things because the requests are so horrifying. Save this to the desk top. How do I print more than one copy? What do you mean PowerPoint is a program? Why can't I open my email through PowerPoint?
Perhaps what's really going on here is that I have lost hope for the future of the world. I spend 5 hours with a PhD who has won international awards for her work who can't operate a computer and then move on to tutor football players who can't write. Do I seek out these jobs because I am full of hate and they allow my misery to fester? Am I attracted to these "fixer-upper" people like a moth to a blow torch? What if, when I become self-employed, I realize I am just as much a curmudgeon as the technophobes I have hated working for to date?
I need a chocolate sundae STAT.