Throughout the past year, I have tried with my whole heart to get my 77 year old boss to embrace such things as double clicking and saving to a folder. In recent months, I have preached the wonders of the "My Contacts" feature in Office. While Dr. N was in Japan, I dutifully entered all of her 84,322,685 contacts from her rolodex into My Contacts, arranging them by category and setting it up so that she merely has to type the hint of the person's name in the To field and the email address pops in automatically. In the My Contacts view, I arranged the window so that she sees the category and phone number and email address and nothing more if she happens to wander in there a-searchin' for someone.
Today was implementation day. "Take a seat! Click at will! Your world is at your fingertips!" I even had a whip to beat off the lions thrilling the audience.
Wouldn't you know it, the very first name that came up was not in alphabetical order. "Why is Dr. D at the very top?" I put down my silk top-hat and leaned in closer. I had and have no freaking idea why Dr. D was at the top, where she clearly did not belong. Why, oh why was she up there??? Can't she just deal with being a D like the others and nestle in the top third of the alphabet? What is her deal? She ruined everything.
"Well, this doesn't work. I can't use a program I can't rely on. Can I have my rolodex back, please?"
I hid it behind my back, contemplating whether to feed it or myself to the lions. How could this happen? One person out of order and my brilliantly bragged about solution to the pushpin corkboard and scribbled cards is a flop. Crickets chirped.
A person younger than 77 would just shrug upon seeing Elza at the top, and continue to scroll down in search of the desired contact. Dr. N is still learning right clicking. A person out of order means the whole thing is no-go. Hours of work, trying to bring her into the light, wasted.
On another and far more shameful note, my 20-something Pittsburgh rugby teammates are not digitally equipped photographically. We will all have to wait to see tutu pictures until the little disposable camera at Ferko's house gets used up and developed. Can you imagine? WAITING to see photos?
When did I become such a techno-snob? It must have happened around the time I bought my new Mac.
Someday, I will make the world a faster, more efficient place.
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