House Huntin'

We spent hours yesterday climbing through people's green shag carpeting monstrosities. I am truly amazed that the wonders of digital photography are able to make such homes appear charming and cute on the internet. A soft little halo glow here to hide some paint cracks and crumbling brick, a nice little side angle or throw rug to cover the ginormous holes in the floor, completely neglecting to mention the mothball stench, and you've got yourself a cute home online.

Some of them were actually cute in some places, but then terrible in others. We went into absolutely fabulous Victorian homes that had COVERED their original woodwork and hardwood floors with wallpaper, brown paint, and green squishy carpet. If you want to live in a seventies style Brady Bunch house, just buy one of those! Don't ruin a perfectly gorgeous home by slapping fake linoleum and flowered wallpaper in the kitchen. Sheesh!

I found myself actually saying the words "Yes, but envision it with twenty thousand dollars' worth of work! This built in book case could sine again!" As we climbed through strangely fabricated walls and left dazzling remodeled kitchens to stand in plywood bedrooms, I decided there is no reason for me to settle for less than my current apartment.

I must find a home that has not covered up it's secret petals with ugly thorns. No KM covering the bricks with vinyl siding! No carpets on the dazzling hardwood floors! For God's sake, leave the stained glass alone in the bedrooms and do NOT wallpaper over the oak wood detail. Let your beauty shine, house! That seems to be my motto with everything. I hate makeup and, thus, hate wallpaper and carpet in old homes. What I need to find is a person like myself and then convince him or her to sell me his/her unremodeled home that has been tastefully updated throughout the years and includes an off-street parking space.

Hope is not lost. We have another marathon visit on Monday evening. This time, at the first glimpse of carpeting I'm going to stop on the porch and refuse to enter.