Oh, The Anxiety

Miles fights sleep. A friend of ours told us, bluntly, that he has a terrible case of FOMO. When we learned the meaning of this acronym (fear of missing out), we became entirely convinced that Miles indeed has a serious case. He will yawn, yawn, yawn, and then slowly rotate his head. Left. Right. Left. Center. Left again, eyes so wide they seem propped open with toothpicks. For hours.

Others have gotten him to become asleep in, say, twenty minutes? A half hour of trying? It takes me, usually, 1.5 hours. This generally includes a nursing session, several diaper changes, much marching of stairs, and, recently, very loud waterfall sounds on Corey's ipod plugged in to the stereo. Which replaces the static we used to blare from 91.7. Just last week, Miles' favorite white noise source, like, replaced their empty static sounds with screeching and, sometimes, music! Gah! So now we have waterfalls. Which I prefer.

But anyway, Miles fights the slumber. The FOMO gets going and I start to fear he will never overcome it. Until he does. Often, he will just collapse into slumber so suddenly, mid-wail, that I think he must surely be dead. The house will go from WAAAAAAH WAAAAAAAh WAAAHHHHHHHH to just silence. I never trust that he is not, in fact, dead, and generally have to stick my finger under his nose to feel his breath. Which wakes him up.

And then, every now and again, I get him to sleep. Actually asleep. Where I can put him down and walk away and he continues to be asleep. Theroetically, I could do work during these moments. But I am so paralyzed with fear that the FOMO will get him that I cannot do anything. Sometimes I can switch the laundry or eat or shower...or write a blog post. But my shoulers are super tense and I am like a cheetah on the prowl, each muscle ready to spring should the FOMO act up and my son stops napping prematurely.

I hear the little dude chirping awake right this very moment...but at least this time he slept for two hours first!