Slave to The Knot

The Knot wedding planner guide has a checklist all built in so you know when to order things and plan things and generally know when to expect things to happen. And thank God, because I have no freaking clue when to do what. Some of the things, I had no idea I even had to do, so I feel thankful that I get a little chart each month with my tasks. The best is when you complete a task because you can check off that box and it goes away. You don't even have to look at it any more! If you want to feel good about yourself, you can go to another page where it lists your completed tasks by category.

The bad thing is, if you don't get a task done on time, it flashes at you. With exclamation points. I would never not complete a task on time. Who are we kidding? I'm the queen nerd of the world, anal retentive freakazoid who considers herself late when she doesn't submit things early. The problem is, I am marrying Corey. Corey is a late person.

I can't decide if he thinks I have given him pretend deadline for things, if he just doesn't care about deadline templates, or if he likes doing things at the last minute just to torment me. Either way, he is making me crazy and we have six months left to go on this journey.

He's supposed to plan the honeymoon. Why won't he get started? That's supposed to be fun. Certainly more fun than standing in the linens section for hours while I rub sheets on my face to test softness. Here is a sample conversation we have been having since the exclamation point started flashing at me in October:
Katy: Did you start looking into locations yet?
Corey: No
K: Did you renew your passport yet?
C: No
K: Did you pick a hemisphere you would like to visit?
C: I'm going to look into it
K: When?
C: This weekend. I promise. Just shut the eff up and let me watch this PBS documentary about wolves.
(I might have added that last bit of emotional outbreak. Corey isn't given to multi-syllabic responses)

I have decided that if he doesn't plan the trip within one month of the Knot deadline, if I have to look at the flashing exclamation point for more than thirty days, I am going to secretly plan the honeymoon for him. The next time I ask, the conversation will go this way:
Katy: Did you renew your passport yet?
Corey: No
K: But we leave for Greece soon
C: What are you talking about?
K: Greece! You booked our trip to Greece. Look, it's right on our Knot planner
C: I don't see anything
K: You must have done it last weekend while I was away at rugby. Here's our itinerary
C: I don't know what you're talking about
K: Were you drinking PBR in your computer room again? You silly goose!