My friend Phyllis tells me that getting her husband to talk is like getting blood from a stone. I feel her pain. I am married to a man who, after an entire week of snowboarding in Utah, returned to tell me it was, "Good. Fun."
After seven years, I am still not fully skilled in interrogation to get him to reveal details. Instead, I ask his friends. They tell me great stories, about Corey hogging maps or making jokes. Sometimes they even share photos and I feel like I have some sort of insight into his life. Like I won a contest or a sneak peak into a celebrity's back yard.
My mom is gifted in getting Corey to speak. She calls my cell phone sometimes to brag that she just got Corey to tell her a story that lasted 18 minutes. Sometimes I wonder if she could be possibly telling the truth, but then I'll walk into the kitchen and he'll be sitting there telling her an animated story about work. What does she ask? How does she do it? Why can't I open him in this manner?
Today I feel antsy about his silence because he just left for a business trip on which he will share a hotel room with his boss. He works for a non-profit and his boss is a fellow red-bearded cyclist, so this is not entirely strange. But I can imagine the millions of scenarios that will take place tonight and I just know he'll use a one-syllable descriptor for the trip.
I mean, his boss is going to see him in his pj pants! He's going to know how viciously Corey flosses his teeth, like he's going to rip off his gum tissue. He's going to watch as Corey ignores everything else in the room and dives into a New Yorker. And Corey will tell me not one thing about it!
If only I knew the secret to loosen his tongue. Perhaps someone out there knows the magic question to stimulate discussion?
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3 comments:
Katy... it's not what you ask.. it's allowing him time to answer.. mid way through sentences you ask questions. ;)
Perhaps they're not expected to describe things as much as girls are when they are younger. Kind of like cooking and cleaning - in many cases it takes on gender related roles? Also his family is made up of quiet people and mine is not, so maybe it is cultural? I have come to believe that details are not stored in my husband’s brain, so when he hangs up the phone or watches a movie or reads a book, he can not relay it to me. He is physically/chemically incapable of doing so.
Also I find that nerves force him to be more talkative in those unusual settings, so maybe C’s boss won’t realize he is regularly mute and incapable of description or story-telling.
On the other subject:
I aggressively floss too!! Has he found Plackers (tm)? They are AWESOME. No other brand comes close. We have them in our vehicles and almost every room of our house (not the kitchen).
Corey and Jordyn are so alike its scary. I don't know the magic question eithers. Jordyn speaks even less (if thats is possible) to my mother. He is downright chatty with my grandfather though.
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