Trousers

I can't stand wearing pants (trousers, if you will). This is not to say I prefer skirts or shorts. What I mean is that I can't abide wearing garments on my lower half. I just don't like it. Since I've been very small, I've been scrunching up my leggings and removing my jeans the minute I walk in the door from school. Nothing is comfortable!

I can remember exactly two pants/shorts I have felt perfectly comfortable wearing. The first was a pair of navy blue, size 32 O'Neill's rugby shorts. I wore them everywhere, much to my mother's chagrin. I am always shocked to see how unflattering they were when I look at photographs because I loved those shorts. By the time they died they were a light purple and had lost all their dye. They met their demise when Big Hippopotamus Maggie ripped them in a game of touch rugby in 2003. I will never forgive her for being overzealous. By that time, they were so far beyond sewing repair I had to let them go. To my knowledge, the only US distributor of O'Neill's shorts sold me the last three pairs he chose to carry. But now I'm up to size 34 and they aren't the same...

The other was a pair of Old Navy khaki pants. They actually were flattering and I wore them almost every day for a few years. Then I lived in Europe for awhile and literally wore them every single day for six months. By the time I got on the final train to Heathrow, I could read through the tissue-thin, threadbare pants with tattered ankles. I sadly handed them over to the trash can.

I don't know quite what I can do about this. I bought some cute skirts this summer and they are okay, but they still can't beat sitting around in a Penn State shirt that reaches my knees. Maybe I need some more dresses? With empire waists? If only O'Neill's were not located in Ireland I would stock an entire wardrobe with their deep pocketed, front-tying goodness. Clearly the solution is for me to move to Ireland.