Bus Etiquette

I am going to post about the bus again. People on the bus irritate me so much I sometimes growl when I get off. I feel as though bus riders should do one of two things: buy a bus pass or know the fare before they get on the bus. It's not so hard. If you are uncertain of the fare, ask someone at your stop! They will tell you.

I ride such a crowded bus. On a holiday weekend, when there is construction on fifth avenue, I don't want my bus ride to take a collective ten minutes longer because people are bartering with the driver on their way out of the bus. Have your fare in your hand as you walk down the aisle! I don't want to sit there while you dig in your wallet for a dollar bill. I don't care WHY you need a transfer or where you are going. Pay your fare and get off the bus so we can all get home.

On rainy days such as this, when the bus is particularly crowded, I also get angry at people for their parcels. Take off your freaking enormous backpack if you are standing in the aisle. Yes, it does bother me when it hits me in the head with each jerking stop of the bus. Yes, I mind getting dripped on by your collapsed umbrella. There are many, many other people on the bus. We don't have room for your LL Bean backpack and your golf umbrella and your briefcase.

There is even less room on the bus because of the enormous fat people who take up more than their allotted seat section. These people, who do not pay for two fares even though airplanes require such things, are taking up our bus room so we must all unshoulder our burdens and hold them below seat level.

I like riding the bus. I do! I enjoy sitting in my seat and reading my book and supporting public transportation and boycotting the waste of fossil fuels. We have our own lane on the bus. We allow people to go to bars and imbibe in alchohol safely. We allow the city to build new green parks out of former scary parking lots! If people would just silence their damn cell phone walkie talkies and put down their big bags and have their money ready at the right time, the bus would be a perfect place. Do your part! Stop hogging our time and space!